Things we said under the passion of beer

Rachel: okay! here i am, boys! out of daddy's limo and into your
checkbook.. Who wants to buy me drinks? I promise I wont
scam you and maybe I'll be your friend if the food is
kosher and you're nice to me and rave of my white satin
gown by Marc jacobs, my harry winston bracelet valued at.. (ahem).,
my Calvin Klein mules, my dark shiny braided locks from Rubenstein's
salon and spa..

Gibson: are you a jew?

bartender: oh here we go..

rabbi david weiss:Oy a broch, my eyes!! could you be more pale?!?
It's a ghost! A gezunta moid you aint.. bartender cancel my order
of the whitefish. i just saw one. what, no Gotkes?

halle: hit me off again, boyee!!. DAYUM, this shyt is good!!!

bartender: you've had too much to drink halle.... here drink some more.

hipster: Hey, Rachel. you squeezed thirty bucks out of me last
week on drinks, sister.

Rachel: huh? no that WAS my sister. people say we look alike.

Norm: I say buy her drinks again. If either sister won't pay the bill,
Let me move into their guest house. refill please.


Gibson: she's jewish. hide your wallets..

Rachel: hello, i've got plenty of daddy money, thank you.
why do you have to go there!?!
G-d, this is a goy bar! where are the menschs?

rabbi david weiss: theyre busy "cleansing" lebanon.

Halle: Rachelllll..Do you have to...(burp).. pretend youre not (hic!).. Jewish all the time?

hipster: how else would she hide the money?

rabbi david weiss: you never listen. i keep telling you; spend the
money on shiksas, moron. dont be a schlemiel.

Rachel: oh please halle.. youve pretended to be black your whole career. And whatever, hipster. you wont be spinning my dreidels
tonight. and my nose isn't big. Ashlee's rhinoplastic surgeon told
me the biggest jewess nose ever is Blossom's, so there.. As for
everyone defaming me, might i remind you youre supposed to be nice
to us? its the law. or i mean it will be soon.

Gibson: bartender, a kabbalah water for the horse.

ALL: MUHAHAHHHhhahhahaa!!!

Rachel: haha. very funny, anti-semite. antisemite! antisemitenaziblahbleh!!

bartender: oh here we go..

rabbi david weiss: she's frothing at the mouth! watch out!

gibson: the anti semite card..

hipster: ..it's everywhere you want to be.
and the only reason to watch "Blossom" was
little Jenna Van Oy's enormous ass.

Rachel: So gross...youre all drunk.. alcohol is a truth serum, and the anti
semitism here is stifling. where's my blackberry.. i'm emailing Daddy
and Abe Foxman to cite hate crimes so there. typical goyim..



hipster: abe foxman is a hypocrite. call me when he finally defends muslims from defamation by jews. bartender this glass needs refilling..

halle: woo hoo!!!hate crimes!! yeah, that's the shyt there, dog!!(burp!)oh my! excuse me!..what was i sayin'? oh yeah, hate crimes!! an' you haven' even startd drinkin' yett.... that "harm" you think youre experiencin'? its called freedom of speech, baybie..(hic!) your ass is too tight... look at my ass.(drops panties) see why its all loose like that? becuzz my contrack with lions gate films it said billy bob was gonna rip me a new one, and he shore did.,.woo hoo!! that's why i got this...(lands gleaming Oscar on counter)

rabbi david weiss:It might be that a lot of Jews simply either just flat out despise the constitution or can't comprehend it. Only these Jews would criminalize thoughts and speech because they are extremely hypersensitive children with bogeymen under their beds.
words are literally weapons to them; to any sane person it's nothing more. say 'holocaust' or "jewish' and watch them go into a seizure. or flashback. "we are permanently scarred with fear of the goyim!" so the solution is to eliminate the goyim gradually; erase their culture, erase their religion, and finally erase them with nuclear weapons, as you will see in Iran. it's pure madness i tell you, the same madness of the 1930s..and dont make me list looney examples of Talmudic laws here... true torah jews do not advocate this nonsense.

Rachel: oh stop dramatizing..the constitution is flawed.
everybody on foxnews says so...there's no amendments
for prenups , it lacks Talmudic insight...
And youre wrong; Words do in fact inflict physical and bodily harm.

Norm: bartender, lemme' use your phone book.

bartender: what for..

Norm: oh nothin, just some 'bodily harm' on the little missy there...

All: BWAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!

Rachel: ah.. the passion of the beer

Gibson: your highness. at the end of the day i am a but a humble servant helping to lead this christian nation.

Rachel: Uh, Let me correct you. America may be mostly a christian nation but it is "thoroughly owned" and run by mostly american and israeli jewry.

it's true.

soon the world will mirror this too, even if we are so few in number.. and if you behave in accordance with the coming new laws, you and your kind will be spared in order to continue serving us.

rabbi david weiss: do you kiss your mother with that mouth..

hipster: its payback for those movies you made, mel..but this time today's chosen people will make the 30's nazis look like cub scouts. putting gibson out of business is just for sheer entertainment..after the straussians vaporize iran, and eradicate all religions but theirs, there will be a last ditch effort by humanity to stop this machine. where when and whom is anyone's guess. another mojito please.

halle: i'm so over mojitos.. (falls over.. THUD!!)

Norm: okay she's on the floor, i think that's enough.

Gibson: you know its funny. i was arrested for a DUI. that should be the story. in the old america thats where the story would have ended. but me saying things while drunk--things that you and TMZ and Harvey Levin and Abe Foxman and the angry conglomerates of press which you folks own and print nearly most of, have decided this should enrage and mobilize your folks to ostracize me despite my track record. things i am being forced to regret saying, things for which i even issued a sincere apology... this--the mere voicing of my personal beliefs-- that's it--which our constitution guarantees, until you revise it-- simply speaking what i believe, no matter how incorrect.. to you people,that is a greater crime than the act of drunk driving, where i could have killed someone?!?!"anti semetic" things i said about jews which took what, 5 seconds? so by that logic, i should get back to back life sentences for making a film that blames jews for 2 hours and twenty minutes.


Rachel: Wowie Zowie! youre good! you almost had me there!
i almost had a moment of clarity and nearly changed my worldview--

but daddy wouldnt like it and the gravy train would stop..

so youre still an anti semite drunk though. buy me a drink.