It's Acting, Right?

kelly preston: wtf is this?

travolta: it's not what it looks like.. it's acting.. from my new movie swordfish.

kelly: muthafucka stop lying.

travolta: it's a movie. we just wrapped shooting.

kelly: yeah, shooting your cock on some dude...

travolta: No, kelly, it was a dancing scene.. duh, i dance in my movies.

kelly: well now you really fucked up everything.
including your Presidential run. dude youre gay. its official now.
I'm just not hot enough, am i.. do i not wear a strap on for you?
You know what it costs to have a bomb-ass bitch like me these days?

travolta: Shyt, did i say swordfish? i meant the musical.
okay, Swordfish the Musical. yeah. Where Gabriel Shear and Mrs Garrett
from 'the facts of life' go undercover as soccer moms to infiltrate and
overthrow renegade KGB girl scouts in Minsk. but it's all set to music,
like "Cop Rock." aintitcool?

kelly: How the fuck could you do this to me? Scientology,
having Clinton over for dinner, a house people mistake for an airport,
"Hairspray", delusions of winning that RACIST REALITY SHOW on CBS,



and now this? Are you fucking Cruise too, John? so who are you, john??
WHO ARE YOU FUCKING!?!? WHO ARE YOU FUCKING NOW?!?
Pete Townsend? Hugh Jackman? so while flying planes, you
were a stewardess serving smoked sausage? i can't do this anymore.

travolta: i havent fucked Cruise. look...
homewrecker is trying to stay relevant.. he made this up to account for
a month without updates to his rag, since the talkback wars are officially dead
and his overhyped "Doucheman Returns" has trounced GNR's
"Chinese Democracy" for Epic Lateness.. he's the culprit. not me.

homewrecker: dont even go there, bro. this is all your fault.

travolta: get off my phone, idiot

kelly: where are you right now?

travolta: in the same damn house with you-- in the closet, finding shirts...
what i cant be in the closet?



kelly: whatever john... i'm getting everything but the planes.

travolta: IT'S NOT GAY! IT'S AC-TING!! SUBWAY!!! eat fresh!!